i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
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