wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
