I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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