I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
