As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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