im drinking this country out of the recession.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Randomize
