Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
