no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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