so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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