Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
