i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
