??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
