Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
