i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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