In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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