Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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