I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize