i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
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His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
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Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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