apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
