is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
