Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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