Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
