Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize