Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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