i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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