Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
