i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
