is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
