Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
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i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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