she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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