I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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