Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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