Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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