Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
