My underwear smells like fireworks.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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