i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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