Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
what day is it and did you see me today?
worst night to have a conscience
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize