Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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