people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
