Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
