HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
home. puking in laundry basket.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
