he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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