I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
