I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
