Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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