Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My balls are so social today.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
