Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
