When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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