I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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