i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
