His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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