hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
