I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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