i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I could fuck to npr.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
