If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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