WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
