i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
