ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
this is an emotional support booty call
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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