I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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