it wasn't lemon gatorade
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
