pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
