Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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