Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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