He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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