i was born a porn star she said
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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